Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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