She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
