just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
