What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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