he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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