Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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