Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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