we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
