I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
