Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
handjob tips. give me some.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
