How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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