How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
