i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
