What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
