I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
whose parrot is this?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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