Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
