I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
