Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
