You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Less talking, more tequila
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
