i permit you to call me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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