She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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