at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
