Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
