you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
