i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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