Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
