So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this beer tastes like vomit already
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
