you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
why do cheetos always look like penises
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
