so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
