I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
