just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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