Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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