it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
