i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
