i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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