Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
