i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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