She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
