Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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