I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
