My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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