I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
