She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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