She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
