so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
