maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
