wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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