I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
