If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
