Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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